I Object
by GoldenNinde
Summary: I feel like killing myself. Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, Bones is getting married tomorrow.


I feel like killing myself. Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, Bones is getting married tomorrow.

_**Hey guys, this is a slightly longer oneshot. I was flirting with ideas and the sentence in the description sort of sprang to me! ;) But be warned, angst and TOTAL AUness (I mean just read the description: Bones would never even THINK of marrying anyone that wasn't Booth). Fluff at the end, though. GN(GoldenNinde)'s promise! **_

_**Enjoy!**_

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**I ****OBJECT – by GoldenNinde**

I'm looking at her and she doesn't see. She never knows, because I'm just so damn good at it: at looking at her when she doesn't see, at loving her when she can't know. Will she ever realise if I don't let her find out? Never feels so… far away.

I'm the fucking king of hide-and-_stay-hidden_. I was good at it with the Rangers, and I'm still good at it now.

Invisible Booth.

She called me 'the invisible man', once. She said I never shone the light on myself; I did it for other people. I know she was right, that I'm comfortable where I am, but she was also wrong: I shine the light on other people because if someone tried to shine it on me they'd blind me. Seeley in the shadows with a shield of light.

I like the shadows.

How did this happen? Where did all that time go? Why did I just sit back and not… _do_ anything?

I can't believe it. I just can't. I was so very _comfortable_ that I was a coward. So what if she never felt the same? So fucking what, Seeley? I should have spoken.

"Booth?"

She's realised I'm staring.

"What do you think?"

"You look beautiful, Bones." The words slip out of me in one breath and they are true like her eyes match the colour of the sky.

And she does. She looks inhuman. Her hair isn't styled or anything, just falling around her shoulders with grace. Her eyes aren't chock-full of make up either. She looks… nervous. And something else harder to place, I think, as she returns my stare through the mirror. It can't be disappointment, not when she's looking like that. It can't be, looking out of those blue eyes straight at me.

"Thank you."

She indulges herself for the smallest moment and twirls shyly before the large mirror, a hopeful smile on her face. Is she happy? I can't tell.

The white wedding dress swishes with her body, making her now, more than ever, an angel I can't reach.

*

When she said he proposed to her I never thought she'd follow up by saying she'd agreed. But I'd better explain it all properly, and start at the beginning, or you'll be just as flummoxed as I am about how impossible it all is.

You see, I love her. I have a feeling everyone knows that around here. Sweets knows, I can tell, and Cam, obviously, because the day I told her we should break up she already warned me. But no hard feelings, and now at least I can talk to her about it.

Angela knows, because she has a radar for this sort of thing, and since day one she's been nagging me about it. Hodgins knows, because Angela told him. _Everyone_ knows.

Except her.

Why? I've thought it over in my mind and haven't reached a conclusion yet. I mean… how on earth doesn't she notice?

Oh, yes, it's because I never let her.

Or maybe it's because my confusing signals finally got to her. I have my little slips, my little moments of wishing she was mine and letting myself say stuff I really shouldn't say, and maybe that's what finally broke us.

One day, she just… gave up. She got tired of my games, and withdrew into herself. It wasn't just _any_ day, but it was enough. It was going to happen, that point where we either fell off one side or the other. We might kid ourselves that this could last, but I know why it happened and exactly when.

The catalyst was my fault, really.

Looking back, I want to punch a wall every time I think about it.

We'd solved a case and were comparing notes in her office. It was late at night, the Jeffersonian was empty (well, almost… I mean, there was us) and she was exhausted. By the end of our compiled report my brain wasn't working right. I hadn't been sleeping much and I hadn't really had lunch, but instead of feeling tired (like I now wish I had) I felt strangely awake, like electricity.

But really those are all excuses for what I did. We left once our work was finished and I drove us to her apartment. Wait, no, I drove _her_ to her apartment. I had absolutely no intention of staying there.

But she practically made me come upstairs. I'd slept there before, twice, actually on the couch. It wasn't the first time she'd threatened to bodily restrain me unless I agreed I wasn't fit to drive another mile.

I can still see her smiling face as she grabbed my tie and yanked, as though I was on a leash for her to command, dragging me up the stairs as we both laughed. Her; drunk with sleep, me; drunk with her.

It was almost… innocent. And yet… not at all. Every tug around my collar was an arousing flash. She could have been dragging me up to bed with her. It would have been natural. She was already handling me like her puppet, and dammit I would have done anything she'd asked. I would have begged for it, I think. I was feeling reckless, alive. And really, really hot for those legs swishing up the stairs and that laugh, that sweet, delicious giggle I so rarely heard…

"_Bones! Come on, do you want me to fall?"_

"_I'd never let you fall, Booth!"_

We reached the door and she let go of me, but the adrenalin was pumping hot blood that fizzed and messed with my head… because we hadn't drunk a drop of alcohol but her cheeks were flushed and her eyes shone as she opened the door. I wanted it so bad I thought she'd see the need screaming in my eyes. Or maybe just look down and see the hard bulge in my pants. One of the two, though, definitely.

"_Bones…"_

She grabbed my tie again and tugged me inside, and I stumbled right into her. She had to feel the erection against her thighs. She had to see the little spasm that went through me when our bodies aligned and I realised just how damn perfect it would have been.

But she didn't do anything. She just looked at me, inviting me to do what I felt was right, but waiting for the first step. We stood looking at each other for a very long time. I couldn't believe it had finally come to this.

I couldn't believe I was paralysed.

Fear. Fear that she didn't love me the way I loved her and that I couldn't change her mind. Fear that our job, so important, would break if we united. Fear that our friendship, vital for my survival, was at risk. Fear that I was damaged and that I would damage her. Fear of fear, dammit! Seeley in the shadows so fucking afraid I couldn't move!

She saw it all, and finally, disgusted, pushed me away. She looked hurt and sad and I could swear that a tear blinked at me with the light coming from the hall right before the door slammed.

I was stupefied, and I banged on that door for so long my fist was actually bleeding by the time I gave up. But I don't want to think about that anymore. I can't think about that night. I'll explain what happened and then I'll tell you why I've managed to force myself to remember it all.

_It was so that I could tell you exactly what I'm going to do about it._

You see, after that night we hardly spoke. We worked together, and we talked, but we didn't _talk_. We didn't _say_ anything. She wore this sort of… half-amused, half-bitter expression whenever she saw my tortured face, and I couldn't help but try and even the score by not acting dumb anymore, keeping up with everything she said, annoying her on every turn, pointing out ill-used colloquialisms in a cold, detached sort of way like I was mocking… shit, I can't talk about that either. But you get the picture, I think. I tried to talk to her a million times, but it was impossible. She didn't listen, refused to admit anything had happened…

She gave up. Shut all the doors, barred the windows, and jammed every crack I'd ever made. It was a bad time.

But here's the thing: we remained together. We didn't ask to change partners, I don't think either of us even considered the possibility.

There was… just us.

He came then, a couple of weeks after our destruction had begun taking it's toll. Not just on us, on our friends too. Stephen whatever, I think. They started dating and I promise, I swear to God I tried to forget her. I honestly made the effort, but it was useless. Every second she was with him I felt how unfair it was that she wasn't with me. Jealousy was driving me crazy. The incredible… lack of justice!

They left for a trip to I-don't-know-where and came back two empty months later. He proposed only a day after they returned, the smart fuck. He saw what there was there, and he didn't even flinch. I don't think he was even a bad guy.

He just wasn't the right guy.

Bad times. Bad times, but now I've got a plan.

You see… she has to be with me. Wow, it's so pathetically obvious, that saying it sounds redundant. But seriously… Bones is just… how do I say this without sounding corny? She's part of me. She's my future, my destiny, my partner, my self. _She is my self_. I need her like I need air to breathe and I'll have to make her realise that. I love her, I'm so crazy mad insanely in love with her that I know with every fibre of my being that I was meant to be with her.

I love her.

*

"Booth? What do you think?"  
"You look beautiful, Bones."

She indulges herself for the smallest moment and twirls shyly before the large mirror, a hopeful smile on her face. Is she happy? I can't tell.

The white wedding dress swishes with her body, making her now, more than ever, an angel I can't reach.

"Thank you."

I love you. Say it now. Why did she invite you for the wedding dress fitting anyway? Say it, Seel. _Say it._

"Bones… why did you say yes?"

She turns to me and no, she's not happy now. "I was tired." She says, finally. "Tired of waiting, and Stephen is a good man."

I nod, and my head spins so I stop that.

"It would be easier for me if he wasn't." I say. I can't help but add. "I wouldn't feel so bad about shooting him then, if he hurt you." What about how he's hurting _me_? He's killing me by being with you. Say _that_, Seeley!

She half-smiles. "I hope we shall remain friends, Booth." It's the closest to acknowledging what almost happened she's ever come. Was it months ago? It feels like minutes ago, now as I let myself look at her as I wish I always could.

Unsaid, our love hangs in the air around us, drips with every word I say, caresses every fold of the dress she wears.

I'm not going to let her marry him. My plan is telling her that I love her, that I've been a stupid coward and she's been obtuse (yes, I can use that word too), and that we should be one. Because we already are.

Only when? Now, as she tries that dress for an antiquated ritual she despises? He offered a less flamboyant marriage, she refused because it was what he'd always wanted and she didn't want to take that from him too. I say too because she doesn't love him, she took his love but didn't give any back, I know this.

"Temperance…"

She shakes her head. No. "Too late. It's far, far too late for this, Booth. I don't need your apologies."

Apologies? 'I love you' isn't an apology, Bones. I wish I could say that. I wish it.

"I'm getting married tomorrow. To Stephen Banks."

Banks, that was his last name.

"He knows you don't love him." I blurt out.

"I do too, in case you were wondering." She says coldly. Her eyes frighten me. The hurt in them, like I've betrayed a secret she trusted only to me. Why do I feel like I have? I should tell her I love her now. Before she leaves.

"Why did you ask me to come? You barely ask me anything, lately." Lately. That was how I described hell: lately. And ask wasn't right either. You barely look at me, Temperance. I love you and you barely look at me. Lately.

"I wanted your opinion."

Her hands open, palms up, on either side of her, indicating the dress. It's a tight bodice and an ample, flowy white skirt. White, for Christ's sake. Bones doesn't believe in this. She still looks like a goddess, though. The dressing room is big, and full of mirrors. We are alone inside. I see ten Temperances take a deep breath, and I see ten Seeleys watching them, transfixed.

"Are you me telling the truth, Bones?"

"No."

What do I say to that?

"Bones…" I try again. She doesn't stop me. I falter, because I was expecting an angry outburst, which I'd deserve. "Bones, you can't marry him."

"He loves me."

"You don't love him."

"I told you I'm aware of that."

Silence. I stand up from the small stool I was sitting on. She turns to watch me through the mirror.

"Bones. Please look at me."

"I'm looking at your reflection, it's the same thing."

"No it's not."

Her fists clench and her chin just out defiantly.

"Make me."

I walk three steps and stand in front of her. Her eyes shine with tears, maybe mine do too because suddenly everything blurs. Except her eyes.

"Booth…" her voice cracks and I can't take it anymore. I gasp and take her in my arms in a crushing embrace.

"Bones, oh God…"

"Booth, I can't believe…"  
She shakes in my arms and I'm staggering too. But something keeps me standing, holding both of us up. She's clinging to me so tight there will be bruises tomorrow. I love her.

I draw us apart enough so that I can kiss her, but her eyes widen and she pushes me away.

"_What_?"

Her eyes spell betrayed. Hurt. Exhaustion. I don't understand.

"Bones, I…"  
"You… why would you do that? You don't love me, you confuse me until I'm so dizzy I fall, and now that I manage to get up again you wanted to kiss me? Why do you keep doing this? I told you I was tired! The mixed signals, the unkept promises… everything! Booth, I don't even know how to _think_ anymore because of you! I was tired, and now that I thought I got my friend back you try and kiss me?"

She doesn't know…?

Good God, she has no idea…

"I'm getting married tomorrow! Me! Me, Booth! Temperance Brennan! I forgot who I was because you weren't there to remind me anymore. And, and now you… _you try to kiss me_! You selfish, disgusting…!"

"I didn't try to kiss you because I was taking advantage of you!" I manage to say. I'm almost laughing. It's almost… insane. She doesn't _know_!

"Then why on earth would you confuse me like this? I can't… I'm so…"

Something's about to happen. My muscles tense whenever something is going to happen.

"I love you, Booth." She says, almost as though she's expelling her last ounce of strength to say it.

So it's true. I'm not dreaming or anything. She actually does love me.

I smile, and now she's confused again.

"What? Why are you smiling?" Her beautiful blue eyes demand answers. Who am I not to give them to her?

"I love you too, Bones."

And then she changes. The brow clears, her face radiates, her eyes sparkle. She believes me completely, immediately. She must have known. Part of her, at least.

She can't move toward me because I think she's stunned in place, but that's okay. I take the last step, and finally get the guts to do what I've wanted to do for ever.

I kiss her, and pull away just to say: "I love you, Temperance."

"Again." She breathes.  
"I love you."

She grabs my tie and pulls me down, crushing her lips to mine and I tilt my head to deepen the kiss. I never forgot what she tasted like.

"Again." She asks, almost laughing. I'm grinning too, like the lovesick idiot that I am.

"I love you, Tempe."

"Please, say it again." She giggles, and the sound is beautiful.

"I'd rather kiss you again, if that's okay."

I do, and we melt into a perfect embrace. Ten Booths kiss ten Brennans all around us, and I'm soaring, with her by my side.

"I love you, Bones."

"I love you too, Booth."

We'll fix it all. We'll make it right and then we can be together. Well, we can be together officially, because in reality, we've always been.

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_**I hope I've managed to capture the **__**feelings I was going for. Please tell me what you thought, I love hearing your opinions and constructive criticism!**_

_**In other, plainer words: REVIEW, YA BITCHES!!!**_


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